It is enough to give you whiplash. One moment you’re working your tail off, trying to stay in front of all there is to do and then suddenly you’re not. As when you’re laid off, the work doesn’t come with you. Nor does your work email address nor your ability to talk, even if briefly, every day with colleagues. Suddenly you’re on your own each day. Sending resumes out, making an argument over and over and over again of your value. In my case, as I eclectic and have done a variety of things, in the areas of evaluation and planning and higher education. But for many of these resumes, it’s like you’re sitting in an echoless chamber. The resumes go out like satellites sent out with no feedback coming from them. Which means if you wait long enough (a month maybe?), you won’t be getting an answer. As someone else was deemed more valuable, a better fit.
Maybe if one received responses other than “Thank you very much but…”, even an interview now and again, it would be easier? I don’t know as while I do get the “Thank you…” emails the interviews, not so much. Which means no matter how nicely phrased the email is, you really weren’t very close to the selection process.
So how does one interpret the above? First, for whatever reasons, you aren’t viewed as all that valuable in this world of ours. Why? It may be your inability to communicate effectively enough on a couple pieces of paper. Or you just aren’t a good fit. Maybe at 61 I’m now viewed as too old? And/or too “educated” with a PhD? Or too eclectic, not focused enough? Or too many different jobs with uncertain endings? You see who knows as some organizations won’t even tell you they’ve chosen someone else for fear you may hold them liable for something. As in they certainly aren’t going to give you answers to the above questions.
So it’s a mystery. And a mysterious one at that!
Just came across another part of my little world that has somehow dramatically changed without my being personally informed about it. First, the not being personally informed part is disappointing as while I’ve only been part-time, I’ve been part of this outfit for 13 years, doing what they’ve asked me to do when I’ve been asked to do it, knowing full well part-time was not going to lead to anything other than this. So a bit of a personal heads-up would have been nice.
There are several unexpected and disappointing endings happening at present without yet any clarity about what the new beginnings will be, when they will be and quite a few other questions as well. If I was wealthy and ready to retire to play golf that’s what I could do. But the answers to the above are “no,” “no” and “no.” So what to do?
Asking “why me?!” is tempting but that’s not going to get me anywhere helpful. The key indeed is getting to a better spot.
And the question is what to do?
Just spent several hours this morning applying for another job. The frequency of my sending these job apps out has gone down as the number of “no’s” or no responses has grown. I’m eclectic and feel I could do quite a few different jobs as I already have. But what appears to be happening (actually who knows?) is as someone who is eclectic, I come down on the elusive “bubble” of “maybe’s” that doesn’t crack into the level where one is offered an interview–if I can talk to hiring folks, that will definitely help me. (Being over 60 certainly isn’t helping me.)
Networking is what’s recommended by everyone, but that’s not easy, either. So far only 1 of 10 people I’ve asked to network with has responded to me and our meeting is still 3 weeks out. Hopefully several more of the 7 I reached out to more recently who haven’t responded yet still will. As for the first 2 I contacted, I’ve put them into the “no” bucket.
So lots of “No’s”–a “Yes” or two to at least an interview would be nice right about now.
I grew up in a land where the rain fell 12 months per year as we lived on the edge of rain forest and as southeastern Madagascar sees no snow. While it fell in all types what I remember is the rain that came down so hard it felt like it was trying to punch a hole in the tin roofs houses had. Just a mid-level roar with, in the background, the sound of water drumming on the roofs. It literally bounced up off the ground, gathered together and then rushed downhill. Separate a waterfall into individual drops and that’s what you had!
Now here I sit in the land of Minnesota where we can see snow anytime between October and April, where until the rain we’ve had the last several days we had about 3 feet of snow here on the ground. And as I work on my laptop I watch a video of rain falling outside of an open window in a green tropical land on my TV (courtesy of a Filipino channel), pretending I am somewhere warmer! I guess it’s an adult version of “Let’s Pretend.” Now if I just quite so cold!
being between is not a place i enjoy. it doesn’t feel comfortable, i feel guilty just waiting for what is coming next, i miss friends from where i was, from finding out how they’re doing, from being uplifted by kind words they say.
but then there’s the times when you can reconnect and realize how much you miss friends from the past and how much they mean to you and how much they can be supportive to your very soul.
so thank you, friends!
Two men, one the future Mayor of New York City. The other an up-and-coming pirate from the Caribbean (Martinique), just turned King (“Tolinar Rex”). Who of all places, in 1699, met on the beaches of what was then the abandoned Fort Dauphin.
Abraham Samuel was born and raised in Martinique, the son of a French planter and one of his slaves. His early life is unknown. But in 1696 he arrived in the Arabian Sea, 
serving as quartermaster aboard the pirate ship John and Rebecca. Decimated by illness, they sailed down the eastern coast of Madagascar, seeking slaves to bring back to the New World with them. Then, in October, 1697, while at anchor in the Fort Dauphin harbor, a storm came up which resulted in their anchor ropes failing and their ship being beached. They took refuge in what was by then the abandoned fort while they waited for another ship to come rescue them.
However, the elderly princess of the local Antanosy king felt Samuel was her son, who her French husband had taken with him when he left Fort Dauphin in 1674 (this based on some distinguishing marks on Abraham’s body which she saw as the pirate crew was swimming in the ocean below the fort they were living in).
And before long, with 20 heavily armed fellow pirates who served as his bodyguard, along with 300 Antanosy soldiers, Samuel was proclaimed king of the region surrounding Fort Dauphin, taking the title of “King of Port Dolfphin, Tollannare, Farrawe, Fanquestt, Fownzahira in Madagascar.” This was most likely the old heartland of the ZafiRaminia kingdom, stretching from Fort Dauphin to Fanjahira. Soon Samuel had 15 large outrigger canoes for his soldiers and was constantly at war with the nearby Antanosy king Diamarang Diamera.
In 1698, early in the career of John Cruger (the elder), the man who later became Mayor of New York City (from 1739 till his death in 1744), while he was “a mere youth,” Cruger was appointed as Supercargo under Captain Appel of the Prophet Daniel, along on the voyage to buy slaves on what was a regular “slaver” out of New York. It was bound for Madagascar on what would be its last voyage. [According to Butel et al. (2000), at this point in time New York shipped provisions including gunpowder and guns to Madagascar, which were then traded for slaves, who were primarily prisoners of war of various Malagasy kings, which were then shipped back to New York. One of the reasons for gathering slaves in Madagascar at this point in time was because it was so much cheaper (it cost only 10 shillings worth of goods to buy one there, while it was costing three to four pounds sterling to purchase one in West Africa).]
What follows is surely one of the most memorable <<vazaha>> (foreigner) incidents to ever have happened in Fort Dauphin which happened during Abraham Samuel’s brief rule of the Fort Dauphin area.
Of that fateful trip, during which Cruger met and very unsuccessfully sought to do business with Abraham Samuel in Fort Dauphin, Cruger wrote:
“New York, Friday, 15th July, 1698, we weighed anchor bound for the island of Don Mascowrena; 3d October, found ourselves under the … St. Thomas Island, went in to water and clean the ship ; … 7th October, sailed from St. Thomas;”
[left unreported by Cruger was that he had so antagonized the crew on the front end of the journey, that by the time they reached Sao Tome, the Captain indicated his crew would mutiny if not paid at least some of the wages Cruger hadn’t paid them. Cruger sold some of the ship’s rigging to pay for this.]
“20th February, 1699, Captain and Master judged themselves to leeward of the island Don Mascowrena; Sunday, 13th July, we arrived at Mattatana, (whither we had been compelled to turn our course,) and I went on shore to trade for negroes, but the harbor proving bad we were forced to remove from that place — I having purchased 50 slaves at St. Mattatana; 24th August, arrived at Fort Dolphin; 27th do.
“I acquainted Mr. Abraham Samuel, the king of that place, of my arrival, and came with him to a trade; 12th September, I went with Mr. Samuel twenty-five miles up in the country [to Fanjahira?], and on the 14th in the morning, I got the miserable news that our ship was taken by a vessel that came into the harbour the night before. Whereupon I made all the haste down I could, when we got some of the subjects of Mr. Samuel to assist, us, and we fired upon said pirate for two days, but could do no good. Then I hired two men to swim off in the night to cut their cables, but Mr. Samuel charged them not to meddle with them, (as I was informed, said Samuel having got a letter from on board the said pirates, in which I suppose they made great promises, so that he forbid us upon our lives not to meddle with any of said pirates).
“When said ship came in at an anchor they desired our boat to give them a cast on shore, they having lost their boats, and pretended to be a merchant ship, and had about 50 negroes on board. At night, said Captain of said ship desired that our boat might give him a cast on board of his ship, which was done, and coming on board he desired the men to drink with him, and when said men were going on board of our ship again they stopped them by violence, and at about 9 at night, they manned the boat and took our ship, and presently carried away all the money that was on board, rigging, and other things that they had occasion for, and then gave the ship and negroes, and other things that were on board to said Mr. Samuel. The Captain’s name of the pirate was Evan Jones… [and crew] from Westchester, New York, and others.
“Mr. Abraham Samuel took likewise away from me 22 casks of powder and 49 small arms, likewise all the sails belonging to the Prophet which were on shore, and then sold the ship again to Isaac Ruff, Thomas Welles, Edmd. Conklin and Edward Woodman, as it was reported, for 1,400 pieces of eight. The purchasers designed to go from Fort Dolphin to the island of Don Mascowrena, and thence to Mattatana, upon Madagascar, and so for America. Captain Henry Appel … [and two others] went along with them;
“[S]ome days after there arrived at Fort Dolphin a small pinke, called the Vine, Thomas Warrent, master, from London, which took in slaves from said place, and bound for Barbadoes, in which I took my passage, and was forced to pay for the same 66 pieces of eight and two slaves.
“Saturday, 18th November, 1699, I departed from Fort Dolphin with four of the people more that belonged to the ship Prophet Daniel, in the aforesaid pinke Vine, for Barbadoes, leaving on shore, of the ship’s company, only a mulatto boy, called Gabriel; … 24th March,arrived at Barbadoes; 17th April, 1700 departed from Barbadoes in the pinke Blossom, Robert Darkins, commander, bound for New York ; llth May, 1700, I arrived at New York, and because I may not be censured an ill man, and that it may be thought that I have saved any thing that belongs to the owners of said ship, I do declare that I have not, directly nor indirectly, saved any thing that belongs to them, nor wronged them of the value of a farthing, but contrary, I have done all possible to serve their interest that I could.
“JOHN CRUGER.”[2]
As for King Samuel, his rule of Anosy ended up being quite short, as by 1705 a passing ship found no trace of him.
We were asked to play 2T&aL last night. I realized I could play this game without the lie part as I’ve done some interesting things in my life:
- been yelled at by Vince Lombardi
- harnessed beetles the size of Matchbook trucks to little carts made by a match box with button wheels
- went body surfing one day with a shark who popped out of the water within 30 feet of my brother and I
- been face-to-knee (I was little then) with the Foreign Legion at that point responsible for security at Djibouti airport
- flushed an entire suite of urinals in a Swiss airport much to the anger of the rather large bathroom attendant who chased us down the hall
- used to go to a restaurant where if you ordered Steak & Fries they threw in lobster as a free hor d’oeuvres
- became disabled when in my mid-50s I developed a mental illness accompanied by my CMT’s (a form of neuropathy) progression
- taken trips to western Idaho, rural Wyoming & Kentucky, Duluth, Chicago and Queens New York City with a van load (or two) of high school kids
- visited a church the size of a 3-story farmhouse that had been carved out of solid rock. The church had indoor worship space, pews, altar and even a balcony. All from solid rock
- as a 1st grader caught a squirrel by the tail, having a tug of war with it as I sought to pull it towards me and it tried to get away
- as a Middle Schooler challenged a very smart High Schooler to a reading race. Using a TIME magazine article, I matched him in speed but at least according to him, came up short in comprehension
- decided to read the unabridged version of Tom Sawyer in 3rd grade and then couldn’t figure out why it was taking me so long to finish it
- as a 9th grader who hadn’t ridden a bike all year, set out on a 1,000 km trip the day after buying a bike
What do balls do when they bounce? Depending on the ball, it may end up bouncing almost as high as the distance from which it was dropped. But not all the way. And with each bounce it ends up coming back up just a little less. If a superball this can take a while. If a flat basketball it’s just one and done.
Well for one thing, it’s Tigger we’re talking about, not balls. Tigger keeps bouncing because he keeps working at doing this. It’s not a passive thing. If I remember the stories right it isn’t something he does totally on his own. Rather he gets down, too. And then he goes to his peeps for a recharge.
Pondering this a bit for what can be learned from it–what can we learn?
A recharge is what I need at this point. OK, peeps. Where are you?
Our church does a variety of things to try to be a good neighbor. One of them is to participate in a program called Project Hope where a collection of churches each provide a month of housing for about 15 homeless, mostly children and their parent(s). February is the month our congregation does this. I do a very minimal amount of work related to this by sleeping over a night or two each year as we have volunteers present when the families are there overnight from about 6pm to 730am (the program takes them to another location during the day). In so doing I have the opportunity to gain even just little glimpses of the faces and new insights about the lives of a few of our nation’s homeless. One year this included a mom who was 9 months pregnant (I was relieved to not have any extra excitement that night). Or a dad with a one- and a two-year-old (mom no longer part of the picture), patiently getting them up and ready and fed before the Sunday morning bus picked them up.
These are our folks, people. They have no more interest in being homeless than we would. But Section 8 housing, which was designed for low-income people, is so backed up most of the waiting lists are closed at this point. As in “don’t bother to even try.” The vacancy rate of apartments in the Twin Cities is less than 2.5%. The average cost of a one-bedroom apartment is over $1,200. The benefit for what used to be called “Welfare-to-Work” is less than $400 and hasn’t been adjusted in 30 years. Back then that was enough to rent a one bedroom apartment. You can do the math now.
One way to measure the success of a society is how well the wealthy are doing. By that standard we could hardly do any better. Another way is to determine how well a society takes care of its own people, especially those who are struggling. By this standard, not so much. As here in Minnesota about 50% of our homeless are children 5 years old and younger.
We can do better. We must do better.
I am searching for more work again. I’ve done it before. I’ll do it again. I teach part-time for Augsburg University so I’m open to anything from full- to part-time.
There are some searches I enjoy. Things like Easter candy. Or for or with my granddaughters. Or my wife when I was waiting for her in Paris when she flew in from the States.
There are other searches I don’t enjoy. Like looking for a new job. Which I am in the middle of right now. I’ve done this before so should be fairly good at it. And I think I am as far as researching what’s out there and getting resumes revised and sent out. In terms of networking, not so much. Which is problematic. So I’m working on getting better at that part of it all. But the overall process just isn’t much fun. Lots and lots of applications out at present with so far nothing but either silence or rejections in return. After a while, which is hard to determine, silences turn into “no’s.” Overall I don’t find this process to be a big confidence builder. And quite a bit of work with not much in return.
Of course, I am now 61, earned a Ph.D. a while back and am eclectic so have done a variety of things instead of just specializing in one so each of those things has implications. On the other hand, I have lots of experience, am well educated and experienced in a field which is quite broad (Adult Education) and have done a variety of things so can apply for work in a variety of areas. So we’ll see.
Instead of the below list for me it is: What are the possiblities? Resume an honest explanation of how my experience relates to this? Eventually an interview to something. And finally, can I afford not to say yes?
Of course, something will connect eventually but waiting is not something I enjoy till it does.
tomberkas 